What is Love?
Love is both a noun and a verb, a cultural and biological phenomenon. Love is one of the most vastly studied concepts of all time, and still the least understood. We all know we want it, crave it, we know when it feels healthy, and we know when it feels not quite right. We know when we have it, and when we lose it. Many of us have felt unrequited love. Yet still, we cannot come to agreement on what love is. Does it matter how we each define love?
As a matchmaker, it matters a great deal. Understanding another’s personal definition of love is the foundation of delivering the results that the client desires. All of our clients seek love, but no two clients visions of love are ever the same.
For some, love means marriage, for some, companionship. Some will not believe it is love until they feel that elusive “zing”. For some, love means a best friend, or stability, or security, or validation, or emotional safety or some combination thereof. For some, an intellectual match is a priority, and for many, the physical aspect takes the lead.
Love is ephemeral, individual, essential, divine, and is included as one of the top three human needs in the Maslow's hierarchy of needs. The Greeks define love helpfully using a rich vocabulary. We all know eros, but did you know the word ludus means playful love, storge describes the love between parents and their children. Pragma means longstanding love.
As a matchmaker, dating coach, parent, and besotted partner of my beloved, I have seen, felt and pondered many kinds of love. My personal view of love, perhaps like you, continues to evolve, and my appreciation for love
LETS ASK THE EXPERTS
In the next few articles, we will highlight local and national experts on the topic in order to yield helpful takeaways we can all think about and benefit from in some way. We will be interviewing practitioners, journalists, psychologists and academia.
Please send any questions (confidential of course) that you would like to know more about to margot@finleyintroductions.com.
Is love a willingness to prioritize another’s well being or happiness above your own, or is love extreme feelings of attachment and affection? Is love instant or developed over time? What are some of the best books to read about love? Which of the countless online love assessment tools online are helpful and which are simply fluff? We will find out.
Author Aarav Kumar opines that, “Even at the end of a life lived happily together, it is hard to say what precisely love is.” Oscar Wilde wrote, “Who, being loved, is poor?”
Edgar Allen Poe expressed, “We loved with a love that was more than love.” British novelist and poet Lawrence Durrell felt that “To love another person is to see the face of God,”.
How do you define love? Please send me your thoughts.